If you want your compliments to be well-received or if you have had problems sounding sincere when flattering someone, it's time to consider analysing the way you present your words. Brian Blem, a counselling psychologist, says: "Men and women compete openly in all spheres of life and have forgotten the art of complimenting one another, as was done in previous generations." Here's what you need to know to give a convincing compliment:
"One way for a man to pay a woman a sincere compliment is to be attentive to her, aware of how she's presenting herself and to look for all that is special, unique and wondrous about her," says Blem. "After you've established that, you need to tell her that you see her beauty and appreciate her for everything she is."
Don't have a hidden agenda
To give someone a sincere compliment is to verbally express your appreciation of them. But you first need to appreciate yourself to understand and appreciate who they are. "It takes a man who is comfortable and at peace with himself to acknowledge and validate the heart of a woman," says Blem. "A sincere compliment doesn't come with a hidden agenda. It's an act of love, which seeks to affirm what is already there. However, it may be argued that everything we do requires a motive, so where does that leave sincerity? If our motives are purely selfish and about what we can get from paying a compliment, then it's about manipulation and will more than likely be seen as such."
How to give a sincere compliment
Follow these steps and to ensure your praise flatters her:
- Look her into her eyes when you speak
- Keep your compliment short and to the point
- Do it in public – this shows that you're sincere and not afraid of others hearing you
- Truly believe in the compliment you're giving, or don't say it
- Avoid over-complimenting or it might seem like you're sucking up
- Don't give a compliment expecting to receive one back