People fall into a rut whenever what they do on a daily basis doesn’t align with their true highest values and offer satisfaction and meaning. A rut is a by-product of not giving yourself permission to go after what you truly want in life. The result? You feel trapped in something that is not fully gratifying and fulfilling. Here are some tips to help you make a new start . . .
Work out what is truly most important to you
When your daily actions do not align with your highest values, you won’t be eager to get up in the morning. So what could you wisely do? Be sure you know what your top three highest values are – what is truly most important to you.
For example, ask yourself: What energises you at work or at home? What is it that you love doing each day that also serves others? What do you always find money for and to do? In a social situation, what do you most frequently desire to talk about? What are the top three goals you’re persistently keen to achieve?
Pay close attention to what you are inspired by and what you spontaneously do each day and you will discover what you value most. Creating a life around your highest priorities and strategizing your day in such a way to fulfill that is powerful.
Learn from your past reactions or actions
Although it’s unwise to dwell on the past and beat yourself up about any previous decisions, it is wise to reflect on what has most and least worked for you and view your previous actions as helpful feedback content for refinement. This can help you identify what might work more effectively for you in the future.
If you applied for a new job and didn’t get or land it, take a look at what you might have done to get such a result, and what refinements you can do differently next time to help you get your desired outcome
For example, if your personal relationship is tense at the moment, it may be because you are projecting your personal values on to them and unwisely expecting them to live outside their own highest values. Or they may be doing this to you. Or you both may be doing this to each other.
If this is the case, perhaps it would be wise to ask yourself how is what they are dedicated to serving you and how is what you are dedicated to serving them? If you ask and answer those questions 20 times each you will end up with more communicative dialogues and less alternating monologues and tension.
If you applied for a new job and didn’t get or land it, take a look at what you might have done to get such a result, and what refinements you can do differently next time to help you get your desired outcome. Be honest with yourself. Then, think about how a different more refined outlook or action could help you achieve your desired outcome.
Learn to be SMART
SMART stands for goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound. You can apply these goals to both your personal and professional lives.
For instance, instead of setting a goal such as falling in love this year, rather consider a more likely or attainable goal. Subscribe to an online dating website, or ask your friends to set you up with someone. You could also join new groups and activities where you can meet new people. Or simply prioritize your actions, do what you love and live authentically, which is most attractive to someone who will match you. Then measure your success in attaining your goal by how many new people you meet and how productive and inspired you are. Set realistic goals with actions you have true control over.
Set achievable goals, not improbable or unlikely ones! An example of an improbable goal is deciding that you’re going to win the lottery for wealth building purposes. Instead of this, which has a very small chance of coming true, why not look at your financial house and get it into order? Budget to save money to achieve your goal of having more, and also budget to spend money on appreciable investments more than depreciable consumables. Serve more and earn more so you can save more and invest more.
Also, don’t set yourself a radical goal to lose half your body weight in an unrealistic time frame – this may be unwise, unhealthy and unrealistic. Rather set yourself a more realistic goal of say, losing a kilo every week or fortnight, something that is more probable. Be realistic with your goals, rather than trying to achieve something unattainable. And don’t expect a quick fix. Rather set yourself smaller, more achievable goals, and then, when you meet them, you’ll feel more inspired to continue to expand them further.
Dr. John Demartini is a human behaviour specialist, educator, author and the founder of the Demartini Institute. Visit: www.DrDemartini.com for more.