Justine Pooe

Dude are you gay!??

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:21:32 GMT

This has to be a most enduring question when you’re a suburban black stylish male in the world, its one of those thing that messes up your relationship with your own dad, brothers, cousins, nephews, friends & just about any other guy on planet earth.

Dressing up becomes a mission, since if a rock up in my 3000k Diesel jeans that happens to be pink & skinny, yes having bought them loving the design & its fit, will only be asking nothing but ridiculing, you become so naïve that you can’t walk around with your best friend, no actually a best friend don’t exist till only after you’re married as you might be titled lovers. Any little time you spend with them becomes subject of close scrutiny

Walking in to a restaurant is a mission, you can’t meet your male friends there nuh its impossible, waitrons & patrons will be eavesdropping your conversations thinking you’re on a date, you can’t give even your own brother a hug he will trip, lol even my 5 year old nephew when he cries for a doll my first automatic reaction is “dude that’s gay!”
This question has reached a pandemic level that going clubbing becomes a mission, thing with club is people like dressing up & showing off, if not grouping themselves.

At times it happens that the most confident in the group will walk up to you, try to convince you link up with his gang, but long before he opens his mouth you’ve automatically became tense when he starts “hey mate howzit going??” you already rehearsed the response “nuh dawg ain’t interested hey” the benefit of doubt is non existent its crazy, I even suspect my own dad too haha concrete jungle out there

When I go to movies with my buddies we sit with empty chairs next to us as a bridge so we don’t get awkward moments especially when watching horrors, so we don’t get to cuddle up when it gets scary to the dismay of fellow movie-goers, being a male it’s a crappy thang this day least I’m 21 I have it better but my friends who are on their late 20’s, 30’s & early 40’s still single, driving & owning properties are case studies to society “is he gay??” he too old to be single??” “he too stylish”

Not only is the single ones experiencing the “dude are you gay” mayhem also married guys do, like u get back from work & decided to visit John yet again, she’ll start snooping around “are you sure you not having an affair with him??”

Its crazy that yes indeed there are plenty of gay men out there misquandering as married men yet living their down low life in the discreet, because of the stigma attached to being a gay man,
still there are men having sex with men yet they don’t consider themselves gay ‘coz they don’t identify with the “gay stereotypes” he is macho, fully bearded, husky voice, athletically bodied, beer guzzling or maybe out of shape & out of sorts person, perhaps he is an executive/doctor/top lawyer/pastor with a brood standing in the community with a trophy wife, nevertheless living a lie

I were taught men don’t cry, I cannot act in a certain manner without being labeled sissy, I can only hug my friends when we drunk, I can’t have emotional embrace with my dad he might think I’m gay, I can’t wear that pink lacoste golf shit without backlog, this skinnies are still a mission to wear without rolling eyes, I can’t possibly wait for my friend from facebook in some shopping complex somewhere without making people suspicious, I had to cut my afro & grow beard still one isn’t macho enough, actually there is a 10.000 paged manual on don’t for being a man if you fail either of them then I’m afraid “Nigga you gay!!

Qualities of a good partner

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:01:43 GMT

A good partner is PHYSICALLY ACTIVE, SPIRITUALLY BALANCED, INTELLECTUALLY HEADED, EMOTIONALLY STABLE & SOCIALLY CONNECTED read on as I break it down for you

1: SPIRITUALLY BALANCED (Relationship with God)
if your partner has a relationship with God it automatically means he/she has found a true meaning in life.
They’re values & beliefs have been defined in a meaningful manner.
They will connect & nourish your soul with goodness

2: PHYSICALLY ACTIVE (fully functional & operational body)
Physically fit by going to gym or taking walks if not jogging or swimming.
Healthy lifestyle is observed from food to drinks, everything is in moderation without over-indulgence.
Personal safety, if your partner takes pre-cautions about their own safety u can be rest assured that they will be concerned about your safety & well being too.

3: INTELLECTUALLY HEADED (stimulative mental activities)
Critical thinking
Diplomatic & Problem solving skill
Easily adaptable to change without frenzy

4: EMOTIONALLY STABLE (awareness & acceptance of one’s feelings)
Self awareness (you know yourself better)
Self esteem (you don’t criticize or mock others to feel good)
Positive attitude (you can differentiate between a human error & deliberated mistake with an ease & your out look on life is holistically pure)
Ability to share feelings with others freely

5: SOCIALLY CONNECTED (satisfying personal relationships)
Interpersonal relationships (you got close friends that know the in’s & out’s of your life)
You value your family significantly & try by all means to spend quality time with them
Interdependent (Once you’re interdependent whatever you do won’t be just about you but you will always consider your partners response or suggestion to whatever you might want to do)
Social networks (you’re fully aware of what’s happening around you & know all relevant people in your particular area of interest or influence)

Maybe you’re out there & you’re a good partner but you lack balance due to non-existence of above mentioned qualities but you want to acquire them. Its really simple all u need to do is PROCESS your COMMITMENT with a PRO-ACTIVE APPROACH towards a desired LIFESTYLE & INTERGRATE them to your daily routine until they become a norm.

Father I bless your name that you will continue to allow your Holy spirit to dwell in my heart & that Jesus Christ continue to use my ministry to impact lives of the youth that interacts & read my blogs, mails, listens to my talks, let the holy spirit takes over each and every field of my life that Christ Jesus be revealed in all I do. Amen

This week’s reminder:
Make sure every time you’re in a relationship you get to know your partner emotionally & spiritually first, before you jump to get physical by having sex with them, by doing so your relationship with them will be prolonged N:B (I don’t advocate sex before marriage)

This week’s quotable quote:
Most of us at times are standing on the way of our blessings, we’re blocking them subconsciously

This week’s must listen to album:
Stacey Kent – Reconte-moi (tell me)

This week’s must read book:
You’re born an original, don’t die a copy by Jason Mason

This week’s must visit website:
www.staceykent.com

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
“Grooming & unleashing potential leaders”
A Justpulse foundation concept

(NEXT WEEK PART 7: WHEN YOUR PARTNER CHEATS; what courses it & how to prevent it from happening again)

Tranparency in relationships & shoe logic

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:00:30 GMT

This week I’m looking at transparency, which can be broken down to being clear with your partner at all time, being precise yet simple with ability to tap into your emotional intelligence in a lucid manner.

If you’re not transparent & not sharing your feelings, you will always struggle & won’t be able to form a meaningful relationships. U need to be sincere in your communication if you’re to make a relationship work. If your are in a distant relationship you should make use of technology as a window to confront issues & fix things that are uneven in your relationship, even if you stay closer to your lover but feel intimidated by them you can least try sending an e-mail or a letter stating how you feel about a certain aspect of your relationship that needs an urgent attention

I know most couples are afraid of speaking things out unless their fighting which is purely ludicrous, its never to early nor to late to make changes in your relationship if you feel that things are not going the way you intend them to, but I must stress & warn about PERFECTORY ATTITUDE it will assassinate any relationship

Lack of BALANCE affects wellness of relationship, from my previous relationship I noticed that most people I dated were bit detached, which honestly its dangerous as maybe she will decide to keep quite about a something she felt wronged on until later stages, which this did not afford me a chance to rectify the mistake I’ve made till I repeated it, even at most instance you dating someone were communication is not forthcoming on a positive level, but everything that is given attention to is negative; that becomes a bit of a problem; like if you become an accountant in the relationship auditing your girlfriends facebook status & finding wrong in it, can only escalate to 1 thing which is CONTROL ISSUES that will in turn breed jealousy, clinginess, insecurity, hurt, fear, despair, heartbrokenness, deceit, cheating & ultimately it will get you dumped.

Maybe you’re in a relationship & your partner hardly talks to you about their feelings unless its all gloomy, ominous, negative, murky & pessimistic, you then need to take a look at yourself. It might happen that your partner feels threatened by you in both good & bad ways, mind you she or he might not know that the person they spoke to about the issues you guys are experiencing in your relationship have told you about it, reassess how you treat or speak to them, mannerism which your communication is based on.
For instance I’m a strict disciplinarian, so if I will raise an issues I might be harsh & bit of a tyrant at times which will in turn rattle, shock & unnerve my partner’s ability to converse with poise at that moment, so right now what I normally do is I make sure we are all settled, the mood & the aura of the atmosphere at that time is pitch perfect maybe over lunch or glass of wine calmly I unravel my findings to them, if you think that won’t work or you try it & still it doesn’t help then I’ll suggest both of you pick a NEUTRAL person that your both trust who will act as a MEDIATOR between the 2 of you, make sure you open up to that person about whatever you want them to tell your girlfriend or boyfriend, you can carry this on until you feel that you are all ready create the transparency in your relationship.

U need to be INTERWOVEN to your partner, which simply means that you must not IGNORE the necessity of compability in the relationship. Like when you go to buy a pair of new shoes you will never pick a size that will be too small or too big with a hope that it will later fit, no that won’t work.

Think about you buying size 9 shoes whilst the perfect size for you is 10, what will happen when you force your feet in that shoe?? You get blisters, develop corns, the shoe burns your feet, your toes swallows. That whole shoes experience becomes torrid.

Maybe you decide to go for 11 instead of 10, now you have bought the shoe, u put it on and walk around in it, what automatically happens when the shoe is a size bigger?? It irritates the hell out of you, it feels like a slip on, its unstable on your feet, it misbehaves when you expect it to be flexible, it slip of when you walk up the stairs or try running you might trip over it, no matter what brand or how much of a quality is it will never last but gets irreparable damage within a short period of time.

If you bought your correct shoe size, wow it fits perfectly, your feet rejoices, you wear it with unrivaled pride, you treat & wear it right, no matter the quality or its worth you treasure it.

See even in relationship the same logic applies, don’t settle for less. only LOVE someone who is willing to love you BACK, never cry over someone who dumps you for another they’ll most likely to be back soonest after you’ve moved on with your life

A good partner is PHYSICALY ACTIVE, SPIRITUALLY BALANCED, INTELLECTUALLY HEADED, EMOTIONALLY STABLE & SOCIALLY CONNECTED (I’ll break this down next week)

Father blessed be your Holy Name, I pray that Holy Spirit enters each & every person that reads my mails weekly that you may use this words I’ve written down to impact & grow someone’s life in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen

This week’s reminder:
Sometimes the voice ain’t there; but the planning is still in motion, my brother, my sister keep on praying your answer & breakthrough are on the way, remember God doesn’t have a queue but an audience so be part of it, He might just pick u & set an example with your life remember his blessings overflows & his timing is perfect.

This week’s quotable quote:
The most corrupt of people are not jailed but walking amongst us.

This week’s must read book:
Daddy, please come home by Zane Meas

This week’s must listen to album:
Freshlyground – Radio Africa

This week’s word:
Romans 12:2
“do not copy the behavior & costumes of this world, let God transform you into a NEW PERSON by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is GOOD & PLEASING & PERFECT
N.B feedback is always pleasant please post it on groups wall, or mail me at justpulse@yahoo.co.uk with enquiries, advices or a topic that you will like us to touch on

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
“grooming & unleashing potential leaders”
A Justpulse Foundation Concept

What is TRUST & how to establish it

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:31:53 GMT

Establishing TRUST in a relationship can be a tricky situation, especially when you haven’t dealt with all the pain that stemmed from your previous failed relationship

This week I’ll be doting on this subject which can be broken down to having faith, hope, confidence & you’re convicted of your choice & u believe in them. After such has been established u automatically commit to your partner.

T.R.U.S.T has 5 letters to it meaning & covering 5 different things:

T – TOLERENCE
Tolerance means that you must be broadminded & open minded, be lenient when you deal with a particular individual, make everyone feel at ease around you at all times, bear with people opinions before you dismiss them, be patient in all your dealings. Accept everyone for who they’re besides its their heart you dealing with.

R – RESPECT
You must revere and admire everyone for who they’re, if you esteem someone they will in turn esteem you, relationship are like mirror, whatever you do it retracts it back to you. If you VALUE the differences you have with someone & you critic them in a contractive manner they will respect. Respect is what you don’t deserve nor inherent but what you earn. When in public always show consideration to your partner no matter how they piss you off or angers you. Appreciate & regard your bf or gf works & try to comply more often with their ideas, manners & obey them.

U – UNITY
Unity is very important in a relationship, all choices should be taken jointly, all parties must have an agreement since it brings harmony which in turn will solidify the union the bible say “unless the one agrees with the other then the 2 can’t walk together” so try at all means to concur with your each others choices & decision, no surprises consult your boy/girlfriend first

S – SUBMISSION
This is also a most crucial step to creating trustworthiness in a relationship but most people seems to be clueless when it comes to submission. Let me break it down for you, this doesn’t mean you’re weak but rather meek. it means that you hand in your proposal on a pertaining matter with suggestions then both of you sits down to offer plans going forward which both of you will comply with & obey them, after doing so u surrender the I’s for us

T – TRUTH
Now since you have learnt to tolerate, respect each other & unity with submission has been establish, now its time to be truthful to each other. If you think that truth hurts wait until you see how suicidal lies are. Truth is realistic, factual, accurate, genuine, legit & exact with certainty, it harbors upon HONESTY, INTEGRITY, DEDICATION, LOYALTY, DEVOTION, FIDELITY, UPRIGHTNESS & SINCERITY.

The moment such becomes a norm in the relationship then both of you will never have sleepless nights thinking what he/she might be doing on your absence, mind you this is very hard, personally I wrote & researched this but I’m still struggling though I’m working on it because my ultimate reward of being a world greatest boyfriend and later the best husband starts now, irregardless of the temptations that comes my way I’ve taken a vow to respect my babe, be loyal besides I’m sincerely devoted despite my fears & hearsays

Father God is the name of Jesus who is Christ I bless your name that right now you helping someone understand the importance of TRUST in any relationship, that right now their re-establishing it despite what they went through in the past in the mighty name of Jesus thank you Holy Spirit for comforting them.
Amen

This week’s reminder:
Who are your true friends?? Have ever asked yourself if you really have an inner circle?? You need a mentor, a partner in life & a protégé….get this 3 & you’ll be set for smooth sailing.

This week’s quotable quote:
If you are upset by someone, don’t judge them nor dismiss them, Try to see things from their viewpoint. As nobody intentionally tries to hurt someone.

This week’s must read book:
Learning to trust again by Dr Ed delph

This week’s must listen to single:
Jamali – love me for me

This week’s must visit website:
www.kickoff.com

this week’s top designer:
Heide Slimane

(THIS WEEK I’M SUSPANDING THE LOVE & RELATIONSHIP SERIES FOR A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO MY DAD SINCE IT WILL BE A FATHER’S DAY BUT AFTER THAT WE’LL RESUME THE SERIES)

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
“grooming & unleashing potential leaders”
A Justpulse Foundation Concept

7 seriousness indicators & 20 potential relationship killers

Sun, 06 Jun 2010 12:17:42 GMT

Majority of us are in serious relationships & wants to take that next logical step called commitment which is a closest to marriage I must stress this point out UNDERSTANDING GOD’s CHOICE IS CRUCIAL.

Before you embark on any relationship please note everything you want in a lady or guy.
List down all the qualities you want & all your needs in the relationship, think about such a person you trying to attract then scale yourself according to those values you just wrote on the piece of paper, take a moment to reflect on them. can you anyhow match any of them? if you were that guy/girl with all those qualities would you be attracted to who you currently are?? If not then start working on those qualities before going out to seek that person.

Any PRETENSION & FAKENESS will kill any relationship no matter how established it might seem. I’ve came across many people in my talks & teachings who were living a lie just to maintain a relationship, mind you I’ve also been in that level were I just pretended for the sake of time, energy invested & families involved, until a grew weary of it.

EXPERIENCE as far as relationships are concerned doesn’t have expiry date therefore make sure you gain new insights everyday about the person you’re involved with.

Before you take your relationship SERIOUS here are some proxy indicators you must be on the look out for which will go a long way into helping you gain inside info about your lover

1: Pastors
If your pastor thinks that she/he is the one then they might be, remember since your Pastor has seen you grow & might understand you fully

2: Parents
Your parents fully knows you & have grown you though they might have been skeptical about your past relationships, they seem fond of this one maybe they’ve noticed something about him/her

3: Friends
Your friends knows your darkest secrets & worst fears so they can’t mislead you plus they will no when you’re indeed happy or you’re pretending to be

4: Fruits of the Spirit according to Galatians 5:22 which are: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LONG SUFFERING, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, and GENTLENESS & SELF-CONTROL

5: YOUR HEART MUST BE AT PEACE ABOUT YOUR CHOICE IN THEM

6: THE WAY THEY UPHOLD THEMSELVES IN LIFE

7: SIMILARITIES between you & him/her

15 THINGS THAT HAMPERS GROWTH IN RELATIONSHIPS

1: SKEPTICISM
Most of us are skeptical because of our previous relationship experiences which is very unfair on the person you currently seeing, for now they’re paying for sins of your ex

2: LACK OF GOD’s PROVISION
You not sure if this guy/girl is who God has meant for you to be with

3: UNRESOLVED CONFLICTING ISSUES
My mom never loved me enough so I’m gonna turn to my chick to fill that void, my dad wasn’t good enough for my needs I’m gonna turn to my boyfriend to try scope my fatherly love…such instances will kill your relationship as your partner can only be a lover not a parent. Draw the line & resolve those hiccups

4: CONFUSION ABOUT RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
When is it a right time for me to go down on my knee & propose, it might be bugging you but tell you what, u can love someone today & marry them tomorrow, its all in how you feel & love the person.

5: POOR UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN 2 PARTIES.
Communications is a vital organ for a survival of the relationship; it is what immune system is to the body.

6: FEAR OF BEING HURT/HEARTACHES
If u got this phobia I got news for you! You’ll never be happy nor enjoy the relationship, u might as well be single TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS IS LIKE A ROOT TO THE TREE, IF THE ROOT IS MALNOURISHED THEN THE TREE CAN’T BLOSSOM

7: PERFECTION
Like I covered this on the previous note no one was created perfect we all have what is called perfect imbalances therefore you must love the person for who they are, despite their flaws & short comings

8: PRE-JUDGMENT & UNDEALT WITH PAST
My ex liked saying this to me, she used to treat me like a king you know…such notions are bad, if you loved your ex so much I aren’t you with them now instead of me? Let the bygones be bygones, deal with your past & lose your judge mentality, you don’t know what I’ve been through & it might be contributing to my worldview, engage me first.

9: PRIORITIES ARE NOT RIGHT.
Am I an option to you or I’m part of your life, its important that you settle this as soon as things steams up. No one wants to see the person they love on appointment or when it’s convenient for the other party

10: CONCERNS OF DIVORCE
You’ll never get married once you become pre-occupied with a thought of being a divorcee

11: DOWRY/LOBOLA
This is a centuries old tradition as a typical moTswana I asked my elders at the village how this occurred & I was told in the bygone era main purpose of Lobola/dowry was to help the newly weds set themselves up as married couples, the groom will take a gift or offering to the brides family but after they got married it was re-given to them to help them sustain themselves. This tradition currently has been over exploited, with most partners prefer staying together & setting up a family out side perimeters of being wedded

12: AGE DIFFERENCE
Age ain’t nothing but a number, right?? Not so, currently when a young lady dates an older guy she become ridiculed & gets called names like gold digger. But Love outgrows material attachments

13: PARENTAL APPROVAL
Would my family approve of my boyfriend despite his background?? Will my dad approve of the girl I’m seeing besides her being from that not so affluent let alone glamorous family?

14: DOMINATION ISSUES
I won’t be allowed to marry you because you’re a roman catholic & I’m a Methodist. You won’t marry him until he becomes a ZCC member

15: RACIAL DIVISION & SEGREGATION
How many inter racial couples are so judged & picked upon despite them being happily married, how can I marry white when I’m black. I’ll be labeled a sell-out! But love is blind so it knows no colour but heart. Never conform to the standard of this world

Jesus I bless your name that right now somebody is about to take a very crucial step in their life and commit themselves to a relationship despite the challenges that might ensue, Father give them courage to be bold enough & go for what you are blessing them with. Let the Holy Spirit guide them oh Lord in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen

This week’s reminder:
You’ve been single for too long due to your resistance towards love, it time you let go of your past hurts & live in the present so your future can seem brighter. Look into the mirror; how beautiful & handsome is that reflection appearing before you. Now dust yourself up & clothes yourself in love before long you’ll attract it to your life

This week’s quotable quote:
Prisoners don’t prosper in jail neither do wardens rest. Parole your prisoners & go on pension (let go of your issues, hurts and despairs)

This week’s word:
Galatians 5: 22
But the fruits of the spirit are LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LONG SUFFERING, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS & SELF-CONTROL against such there is no law

This week’s must read book:
Think like a lady, act like a man – Steve Harvey

This week’s must listen to album:
Amaury Vassili – Vincero
With hypnotic singles mi fa morire contado & endless love feat: Katherine Jenkins

This week’s must visit website:
http://www.ioffer.com/ (designer gear up to 95% off)
the most kept secret in online shopping segment

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
"grooming & unleashing potential leaders"
a Justpulse foundation concept

What is Dating & 20 deadly signs to look out for in the relationship

Mon, 31 May 2010 08:05:36 GMT

What is DATING??
That is a million rand question isn’t it?
Well DATING IS HAVING FUN WITHIN MORAL BOUNDRIES. The person you going out with doesn’t own you since you’re all having fun & you can go out with as many people as you deem fit but you’re not entitled to have sex nor have unrealistic expectations from them, you’re not married to them.

In most relationships people are looking for “CHEMISTRY” what is chemistry & does it exist?? My honest answer on that department is a big NO it doesn’t but surely it might differ from person to person. But can you imagine if you love someone yet the chemistry is non-existent watchu gonna do? Leave the person or pursue relationship with them??
Hollywood has surely blindfolded us as far as the relationship, love & romance issues are concerned, in real life is never the case of boy meets girl & live happily ever after, it goes beyond that, one needs to be realistic about such thing. Honestly at most cases we don’t just fall for a person but fight for their attention & their love, normally its usually never any what of a picture that cheesy Hollywood movies depicts.

Majority of us at times resort to clothes to give us that edge & boost to win
s heart of a certain person but I got news for you clothes can’t, won’t & will never make you any what a good catch because a “GLORIFIED PERSON MAKES AN OUTFIT”
You can dress all leading labels in the world yet still be lonely & miserable, you won’t even be able to keep a relationship, you know why?? ‘coz you’re materialistic & what happens when you’re discontent & materialistic?? IF YOU’RE MATERIALISTIC RELATIONSHIPS & LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE A NON-PRIORITY TO YOU.

What is an AFFAIR??
Affair is having found someone that you love & you think that they’re potentially who you might spend you whole life with as a marriage partner, therefore in that case you need to be transparent to the person & let them know that there ain’t in the market no-more, you can also suggest a courtship period to familiarize yourselves with life of marriage also start pre-marital counseling

What to do on 1ST DATE
When you meeting someone for the first time, it is very important that you guys meet in a public place that is busy, safe & you’re familiar with it to avoid discomfort, avoid consuming alcohol since it might make you be a vulnerable person, don’t go to MOVIES, you may ask why? At movies you guys are not spending quality time together getting to know each other, there isn’t EYE CONTACT to grasp the sincerity of this individual, you’re most likely to be touchy which is an absolute no-no for a first date, it’s also a time waster, NEVER meet at you dates place since it matters not whether their Pastor’s daughter or son you’ll end up having sex.DATE RAPE is a common factor this days so don't be part of the statistics.

If you’re in a relationship that is not working out it’s IMPORTANT that before you break off from it you take A COOL OF PERIOD, to clear the gutter in your mind about the person so u can decide whether you wanna carry on dating or you want to call it quits, it can range from a week to 3 months depending on individuals

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU MUST BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING BEFORE YOU CAN BECOME A GOOD LOVER.

DEADLY SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR THAT WILL INDICATE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS;

1: CONTROLLING PARTNER

2: OBSESSION WITH PERFECTION
No one is perfect; we were never created to be perfect so you must love your partner with all the perfect imbalances & flaws.

3: STINGY WITH MONEY or MISUSAGE OF MONEY

4: SHOPAHOLIC or ADDICTION TO SHOPPING

5: DESIGNER LABEL WHORE
Such people are dangerous, they’re never satisfied with nothing but a designer branded goods

6: LOVE SPENDING & LIVING BEYOND THEIR MEANS i.e DEBT

7: too much TV & ENTERTAINMENT
Such people are not cool at all you can never communicate with them when their favourite programme is on tv & they spend incredible energy & time entertaining themselves

8: FOOD
This person like over indulging, nothing matters but what their eating next

9: SEX

10: ALCOHOL
I know of people that value alcohol than their own families let alone themselves

11: WORKAHOLIC
You’re always pre-occupied with your career in the name of securing our future even to an extent when you’ve made it you’re still discontent & slave driving yourself.

12: STUDYING
Call them intellectuals but I prefer to call them insane, this is a person who is just addicted to studying & proving themselves with dozens of qualification that even most of them don’t add value to their lives let alone bring any income.
13: FUN & PARTYING
Every weekend is you on the social circuit, you’ve turned yourself into a party scene mogul, you’re hardly home to spend time with your loved ones

14: CLEANLINESS
Its good to be clean but don’t over do it to an extent that you are calculating it

15: HEALTH GURU & FANATIC
When you age six pack will matter no more even hot bodied chick doesn’t make a good wife only matters of the heart counts more than anything, come on now cut the chase

16: AGEING
You spend lots of money & just about all effort trying to look younger but it ain’t working since you somewhat worried about getting old, be content in your age & you’ll be rewarded

17: RELIGION
You’re a religion fanatic that you don’t realize you’re even just judging & condemning yourself, if you wanna have a fantastic relationship keep religion out of it.

18: RESTRAIN some of your RELATIONSHIPS
You’re so popular that even some of this people you don’t recall why they’re your friends in the first place, for the sake of your partner do away & refrain from those that don’t add value to you life

19: TRADITIONALIST
That is so 16th century embrace compability, do not hide your ignorance & stupidity behind your tradition it ain’t good enough, be a sophisticated & open minded individual

20: LOOKS
Mr Good looking & sister Gorgeous are worst people to date nothing but their looks matters in this world

Father God in the mighty name of your son Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour I bless you name I lift it on high that right now you’re delivering your children out of a quagmire of dead relationships right now, Holy Spirit embrace & counsel them right now so they can see themselves beyond their stressful situations & circumstance that they’re in, Father re-assure them of their value in the mighty name of Jesus.
Amen

This week’s reminder:
U have lost your relationship but be grateful that you haven’t lost yourself, stop mopping, weeping & binge eating or maybe abusing that alcohol. Dust yourself up, clothes yourself in a splendour & look into the mirror and tell yourself I’M BETTER OF WITHOUT HIM/HER, I’M BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME & COMPLETE & DESERVES BETTER

This week’s word:
As a man think within himself, so is he” Proverbs 23:7

This week’s quotable quote:
Materialism is a pre-occupation of self.

This week must listen to single:
Brandy - Tomorrow (Never say never album)

This week’s must read book:
Jason Mason – Believe you can

This week’s must visit website:
www.shimmykotu.com

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
“grooming & unleashing potential leaders”
A Justpulse foundation Concept

Lessons learned from my Mom!

Sun, 09 May 2010 11:12:39 GMT

Today i woke up to realize that its Mother's day & ooh how i remember my Mama, see my memory only has good remembrance of who my mom was, its been 10 years since she passed.

Her death wasn't easy for me, it turned me into a VICTIM. i felt powerless since; i where just 11 years of age at the time & my brother was just 9, there i where asking God why us?? it was a grinding period in my life. i thought i was to young for all this burden was too heavy.

But God turned me into a SURVIVOR, not only did i learn & adapt to survive i also became an OVERCOMER even though it took me time, staying in the streets of Pretoria, feeding out of dustbins but i'm grateful for such experience, because it made what my mama taught me sprung out and bear fruits. there and then i had to ask myself how can i help to make someones life easier. now the spotlight has been projected on top of my head to become an impact to lives of ordinary youth who might find themselves in a similar situation.

i have no choice but to become INFLUENTIAL in my community, i had to humble myself before God and cry out use me ooh Lord, Turn up the volume of my life story, turn it up God; to a deafening level, let it be noisy so even the deaf and mute can hear it. Therefore change for the better. i knew from the onset that i'm a walking warrior that's what my mama told me, see God can never make another me, i'm His masterpieces created after His own likeness & image.

MY PAST is dead & buried therefore shall & cannot be used against me for i'm a new creation in Christ

Ephesians 2:10 (New International Version)
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Now i'm all but influence & encouragement to you, therefore i will never be a copy for a certain individual, i'm me therefore cannot be cloned, i'll have to die in order for that to happen.

My life is like spices meant for seasoning food, my DNA is unique, i dress unique, i behave unique, i'm me & i enjoy being hated for being who i am, i'll never fit in, my mama told me i'm unique,one of the kind & i should be ashamed to stand out.

but most importantly i'm a BLESSING to you, what is a blessing you may ask?? well blessing is anything that someone can benefit from.

it doesn't have to be money, no! see we have placed monetary value & attachment to whole Lotta things, blessing can be your attitude towards someone, your word of testimony, your lending of an ear to a hurting friend, a phone call, a hug, your friendship to a certain looked down upon individual

Father i bless your name that even though my mom passed on when i was still young boy, u still allowed her to have an impact in my life to this day, that Father even though life was hard, poverty crippling us but her love for us made it all bearable, Jesus i speak your blood right now over all the mothers this day, Christ let your spirit dwell in them, give them courage most especially to the single mothers out there, let them rejoice in you; that they didn't have to abort those precious gifts you've given them i pray all this in the name of Jesus who is Christ our Lord & savior
AMEN

on groups wall tell us what you mom means to you & how u remember her.

this week's reminder:
Blessed are you who's mother is still alive, use this week to reach out to her,to love and embrace her, tell her how much you love her, make peace with her, give her the respect & the attention she deserves since nobody knows you like she does........to those like me who our Mom's has since passed on cherish her memories in you heart & celebrate her life by making right decisions that would have made her proud of you

this week's must listen to song:
I remember mama- Reverend Shirley Caeser

this week's quotable quote:
blessing is anything that someone can benefit from.

word of da week:
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born.
"Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." (Psalm 139:13-16, NLT)

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
"grooming & unleashing potential leaders"
a Justpulse Foundation Concept

The South African fashion report

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:33:31 GMT

This years do was at Turbine hall in the cultural precinct of Newtown,the heart of jozi. Splendid & spacious spacing it is the venue but the non-renewal of Sanlam sponsorship & the I.F.A monopolizing of the industry in South Africa is really assassinating what has become a legacy in Mzansi fashion landscape.

South African fashion seems to be rather going through some creative if not financial nightmare,this year showcasing was very dull,no vibrancy at all.Starting with Audi jo'burg fashion week were Mamelodi Sundowns fans were bused to fill somewhat empty seats. plus yet the criteria that was used at SAFW to allocate front row seats made one wonder what did all those people occupying them have done for this industry that even neither were dressed by the designer showcasing.

Models were lukewarm which made the designs look terrifically dull with no hope at all, one really had to wonder who did the choreography & the casting of the models it clearly left a bitter taste on some of the guests lips,judging by the looks on their faces,they were not impressed but still we had a good lough about it

Designs we not bad but neither were they good.one thing that this showcasing confirmed was that we South Africa are not an active fashion nor trend setting nation but painfully we're reactive,see even in stores we have became a thrash bin to all the leading fashion markets in the world to an extent we're couple of seasons behind.this kills the enthusiasm from a normal person when it comes to following a certain local designers & their brands even our own government is not willing to support nor pump in money in this untapped lucrativeness,their excuse is that this industry doesn't even amount a 1% of country's GPD annually damn that's cold.

on now to Fashion!!

Loxion Kulca this time around had a total revamp of their brand, they created a gimmick based on Zulu warriors & must say it worked out quite well especially with their underwear range & suits on animal prints might be a hit at the next SATMA awards trust me

Darkie was very dead this time around,no creativity at all even though one cannot expect much from him but this time around must say he hit all time low, the t-shirts he was launching with prints saying Mandela,Gandhi,Biko,Malcolm x- hero or victim was not a new thing, internationally they have been in existent for quite sometimes featuring the likes Jimi Hendrix,Keith Richards,Iggy pop & other revered rocks stars.a very bad move from him clearly

DM classics was bad,actually they were on point with their black parsley print suits which is an uber trend Internationally right now.their choice of colours will truly appeal to discerning market as much as they'll be appreciated by the emerging market...not sure though about the choice of novice models but we can hope for an improvement

Ephymol is never one to disappoints not only does he almost deliver,he also pull a huge crowd. his collection was riddled with turquoise & nude.strictly for appreciative dude with deep pockets loved the cuts and fits he put together this time around...he is still South Africa's yet big hope for glory when it comes to men's wear only if he can remain a committed artist & not run after the dime.

Sylvester Falata was embodied on a surprise this time around,he is clearly well received if not known as an ultimate female designer but he delved into Men's wear this time around not much to say about his collection besides his colour choices are clearly bold & not for the faint hearted,must say i loved the floral tracksuits and the white linen safari suit plus a guest appearance by Lira

Thunderstorm was the best concepted of the lot, his showcasing was based on the 2010 stadia construction, must say even though it was nothing new as far as the designs were concerned his production was superb & stupidly on point & he also went nude & turquoise with motswako rapper Tuks on the ramp & his song providing musical background.

as far as other designers were concerned Terrence Bray is a king of houte couture in the country he never ceases to amaze no disrespect to Clive Rundle but Terrence rocks from materials to fit it all looked effortless. DFC by Uyanda Mbuli rocked big time with Babalwa opening her showcasing, i must say it was a must see following the dramatic turn of events at her boardroom everybody was holding their breath to see how would she manage with out Gert & boy did she deliver but yeah nothing hectic nor new but least she got an approval oh by the way she also had her own DFC themed music for the ramp,typically Uyanda for you.

Thanks to Felipe & Menzi for the invites,plus yeah share your views with us on the group wall about Mzansi fashion landscape & its current standing or air your disagreements there as well

Justpulse @ South African Fashion week with Nerdy St Swagg & Swag-O-metre

Whats in your name

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:29:41 GMT

Have you ever wondered?? What’s in your name, what inspired your parents to give you that name? Clearly there should be somewhat something that characterized them to hand u that name, like my second name for instance;

You know to be it’s a prophetic name, seriously it is, Keletsaletswe is a very unique name most probably only me who was born exactly 21 years back with this name, my Mom (oh God bless her soul) gave me this name, it became a mantra for my extended family as children that were born before me has been girls, like 8 girls to be over the period of 12 years with no single boy. Then boom 1989 January 24th a son was born to a 26 years old Judith Mathete Pooe; can you comprehend the excitement that my birth coursed for my clan, it was overwhelming I mean yet again I was a first child to both my parents, so they had to come up with a name that had a significant symbolism for that special gifting. Keletsaletswe is SeTswana & it can also represent or translate the fact that I was born to be over-achiever, ask any of my former school mates or my teachers they can attest to that, or maybe guys I’ve served with, they’re most likely to tell you I’m a natural leader, a birthed disciplinarian, I strive for goodness in whatsoever I do be it writing, presenting, dressing, cooking, engagements even hosting because my name has some sort of effect on my general outlook on my life

I can dare not be negative, lazy, irresponsible, playful no it’s gonna be an abomination to my name but all this I didn’t grasp before I committed my life to God see I was born & bred in the village where life was hard in all circles & family life wasn’t well balanced, maybe it was coursed by the bi-aftermath of the Apartheid but I were too young maybe too naïve to understand that until after my mom passed on when I was in grade 7 as an 11 years old, things started unraveling I was called names, I was picked on due to my rather exotic looks, my fat lips was so unique that kids dissed me because of them, as a tween/pre teenager this dealt me a huge blow on my outlook to life, it knocked me down my self-worth degraded, I became shy instantly, but still I focused my life & its energy on spirituality. I started committing my time & life to things of God but still I never knew he can change me for better, for me least I had someone to talk to like my pastor & church elders who mentored, which benchmarked what will become my association to older people as friends till this day it has been that way. Since they never judged nor picked on me, but this has never set well with my immediate family you know they felt I was being disrespectful to their teachings, laws & traditions.

This coursed me do be a very withdrawn child something that I have unfortunately carried unto my adulthood, it angered me, made me have some kind of resentment towards my family & my dad was just as useless, always wanted to be begged to become a responsible father, this was hard on me, it made me age & mature before my time. Least it helped me pave my own future but at that period I was about to explode into something I was not ready to contain. I became a time bomb just ticking away, but my love for art became my refuge, it became my source of joy, provided pocket money & escapism. I drew, painted & sold some pictures, so me & my younger brother can get on by, but my heart was taking a beating the harshest way possible. I saw that I can’t change my situation but still I can make a significant difference & distribution to my younger brother’s life, the only how was when I skipped home to try strike my gold somewhere else.

It was 2002 as a 13 years old, 2 years after my mom passed on, in grade 9 I had enough I felt to confined & that was possibly not what I was destined for so. I planned hard & came with an excuse to leave home or least get a money that will help me do just that, hhhmm least we had an athletics meeting that day at Odi stadium in mabopane so I was given R10 which was R2 short for a trip to Pretoria but still I pressed on, with only what I had on & no money nor accommodation neither a plan of survival when I came to the big city.

But my arrival here taught me a lot about life, my name & my destiny. It awaked in me a sense & desire to make a change if not a difference in lives of young men in the world. It made me meet the Lord & give my life to Jesus, to believe in him that was my ultimate turning point, it’s then I started realizing my value, gifting & embracing my uniqueness.
For the first time in my life I felt assured, God gave me a revelation, he made me understand what my name Keletsaletswe meant! It was awesome, I were awestruck to know that the Devil fathered no one but lies, that he owns no copyright to no single cell in my body. That I were perfect therefore needed no improvement, that Jesus gave me a gift that I didn’t deserve that could not be confused for a reward but it didn’t happen overnight I was a street kid for 4 years in which I used as my sage & guide to discover a lot about myself as well as studying the human race & it’s dynamics. The winter nights taught me faith & perseverance, rainy night birthed in me gratitude, Streets were hard I got bullied, abused verbally & emotionally but least it helped me become emotionally matured & connect my feelings with what I wanted to feel & experience, feeding of dustbin taught me that God supplies abundantly. I embraced the scripture “for I know the plans I have towards you, plans to prosper you not to harm”

There & there I understood that no treasures in this world be it clothes, money, cars, gold nor diamond could compare to the redeeming of my soul. You know I also came to realization that God’s reference of my life is never at risk despite my sinful tendencies since the Bible even attest to it in Isaiah when he said ”I foreknew you long before you were even conceived in your mothers womb” this revelation to me came beyond being fake, unwanted, uneducated, unemployed & homeless, it made me understand my authenticity in Christ without materialism, it therefore can not be reduced to anything nor to be competitive nor can I be comparable to anyone in this planet be it by dressing, looks, cars being driven etc nor can I be scared of any other persons religion be it Muslim, Buddhist whatsoever for I understand my Bible when it says “for if one died for all then it means all died with one” do u understand that scripture significant?? It has made me the Justinos.Keletsaletswe Pooe you’ve came to know of late. It made me realize I was called on to be a leader & ruler over all the earth according to Genesis & that all along my religious perspective of God was clumsy until I surrendered to Jesus, like Jacob he gave me a new name & I became Israel, the me who was cursed not to live beyond the age of 15 now is 21 years old going on to becoming an achiever, a mogul and to lift the name of Jesus high, see the Devil might have stolen my joy, my youth, my peace but surely he has no ownership over my life, never!! according to my Bible “Good & Perfect gifts belong to the Lord”

See now I know the real worth of my name & my value, it’s not to escape hell & go to Heaven; hell to the no it’s about me taking ownership of everything that my Heavenly Father God has created in this world & yes you can hold me to that I’ll be a billionaire in my lifetime, I’ll drive all those cars I’ve wished to drive, I’ll achieve all my goals for his joy is my strength & I shall never get sick for by his stripes I’m healed, I shall never lack for he is Jehovah Jirah my provider

See that’s what is in my name & tell you what exaggeration is non-existant when you’re born again & a child of God

Tell us about the meaning of you name in comments below or via da group walls, if maybe you wanna talk privately please feel free to inbox or maybe u want an encounter with God or counseling please feel free to visit Doxa Deo inner city campus in Pretoria central Visagie between Van Der Walt & Andries streets.

This week’s Prayer:
Oh Daddy I bless you name, I lift it on high, I worship you for hallelujah is the highest praise, thank you Jesus for redeeming my life & giving me new identity & helping me shift my perspective to align it with that of yours, for making me a blessing to this world

This week’s reminder:
Reclaim your value in relationship, business, workplace, school so everyone can respect & love you. Also this week make time for prayer & meditation upon the word of God your revelation is just a scripture away

This week’s quotable quote:
God found us in Christ long before he lost us in Adam- Francois Du Toit

This week’s scripture:
Proverbs 13:22 “the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous”

This week’s must read book:
John Hagee - Financial Armageddon

This week’s must visit website:
www.mirrorreflection.net

This week’s must listen to album:
Martha Munizzi – the nest is yet to come

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger 2010
“grooming & unleashing tomorrow’s leaders”
A Justpulse Foundation concept

Got my Swagger locked on Christ
April 2010

Sometimes you get lonely

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:26:26 GMT

I found myself reminiscing with a track, R ‘n B one to be precise, actually It made me shove my book away, and sing along, to an extent I become bit emotionally overwhelmed. Flip my heart skipped a beat yet still felt hard done by. & just right then I connected with the side that I have malnourished if not neglected, perhaps the masked one which has been concealed from the public; oh no am I lonely!? Was a question I had to answer; I don’t think so. was the answer that followed, but no I do feel so,

You meet up with people who admired your previous show, liked my presentation, enjoyed reading one of my many articles, love my swag & style. Wow!! see all this makes you feel like you’re on top of the world, it sends your self esteem sky rocketing but reality only hits home when I get to my house. Flip its all barren; there is just no one I can share all this news with. Sometimes I long for that embrace, that little hug on the cold morning, a pat on the back when I’m about to face a prospective client, maybe a reassurance after somewhat a straining day.

But no! no one is there to gimme all this. I’m alone; no girlfriend, just my friends who at times will get phony about their feelings towards a pending matter, phew I thought I had it all together. All seemed to be favouring me until I got a surprising visitor by the name “Loneliness” one cold evening that a heater, duvet, book, warm clothes even a cup of my favourite ginger flavoured rooibos tee couldn’t chase away he who has crashed my comfort zone going by the name Mr Loneliness.

See that longing to belong, to get touched, to open up about my present feelings to someone just couldn’t leave, it haunted me. I felt like I needed a quick fix which was non existent. I turned to watch a movie which seemed to just add to my woeful pattern. It actually made me realize how poor I have became emotionally.

The state of ignorance was the least I can activate, but no way bru!! I had to least do something since now my mind was on some sort of a rollercoaster ride, I turned to music, yet again it also worsened the state of my feelings, it made me encounter with my love strived self. I thought I had enough to eat but no I was in dire emotional poverty, I thought I was well clothed with all the latest trends & looking all good, when I stepped out into the street but no! here I were all by myself naked & stripped bear in front of my own eyes; did I look any good? No!......emotionally I was all but ragged up.

Stepping out on the streets or maybe into the nightlife I’m mostly encountered with words like; I like your swag, you hott, but does it really matter to me, hhhmm lemme see! ooh boy, no it doesn’t. Why??
Well I’m bit socially impaired if not expressively(psychological

ly) hampered, I have became insensitive to the feelings of others, rudeness has became the order of the day, my responses are blunt & tad. So piercing my words are, like a flamed sword striking into an enemy chords. Is this my intentions?? I don’t think so. But why am I behaving this way??

Well I have somewhat allowed loneliness to creep in, like a parasitic moth, it consumed the fabric that has kept me, J.K Pooe together. Wow! Loneliness is a dangerous silent killer that turns good people into nasty bitches excuse my Greeek, transforms angels into demonic beings, makes sheep roars like a hungry lion on prowl looking for harmless species to devour.

It got me feeling wasted. No, I’m worth all the love I could possibly get, worth all the emotional investment that someone might want to make, I’m worth all the time that one might wanna spend on me, I’m worth all the caressing that u may wanna give me this winter, I’m really worth that shoulder you’re offering for me to cry on, I’m worth all that ears you’re willing to provide & listen to me whine about how destructive my day was, yes I’m still worth your assurance about how good I am, but can still become better, yes I’m worth all those compliments about my new found fame & fortune, yes I’m worth all the advices you can give me even when I might not use them all, yes I’m worth all the love I can milk you dry of!

Yes I’m willing to let you adore me, be keen on me, allow u to feel affection, be devoted to me, find me irresistible & be in love with

It not easy since I foolishly allowed loneliness to fool me, but I’m ready to allow & let you into my life, yes I’m bulldozing all this walls that have been build by my past relationship failures & procrastinated companionship that have sent my heart to planet isolation which exiled me from my feelings & reality.

See loneliness affects just about anyone else even the Bible quotes “It is not good for a man to be alone” whether you’re a billionaire, sexiest man/woman alive, king of the richest kingdom globally, king/queen of Hollywood, grammy/sama/kora/bet/mtv award winning individual it still somewhat still gets hold of you, therefore be on gourd against any sort of this terrible stigma called lonesomeness & aloneness all days of your life otherwise you’ll be committing a worst & heinous crime against your being.

I know my worth in Life & found my grounding in Christ whom have renewed my mind.

Have you been lonely, how did u deal with it?? or how do you relate to this note?? Please feel free to share your thoughts with us on the group’s wall plus you can mail your friends who are not part of this group this note or even still invite them

This week’s Prayer:
Father I bless your name for lifting this burden of loneliness & veil of aloneness away from my heart, emotions & my overall life, that right now my Heart will open up to being loved & I shall receive all deposit’s of love I’m about to receive in mighty name of Jesus
Amen

This week’s reminder:
Make sure you’re in a winning team. Invite your colleagues to focus on specific, mutually beneficial goals & you will create an environment that’s conducive to succeed

This week’s quotable quote:
Faith is the courage to face reality with hope.
Robert Schuller

The Scripture of the week:
Through Jesus…..Let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good & to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased (Hebrews 13:15-16)

This week’s must read book:
The power of positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

This week’s must listen to album:
Lovers rock by Sade

J.K Pooe for Stylish Men with Swagger© 2010
“Grooming & Unleashing potential leaders”
A Justpulse foundation concept

Got my Swagger locked on Christ
April 2010